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438 quotes
A little absurdity is often the seasoning needed to make life's grand feast more palatable.
To write, you must bleed. Not literally, of course. Unless...
Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you mine are still greater.
Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.
A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest souls.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and tolerably helpful to people trying to escape their in-laws.
The older I get, the more I admire the fellow who invented the hammock.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a library.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear. Unless, of course, you're facing a particularly aggressive goose. Then, run.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter, unless you're trying to outrun a velocipede. Then it matters quite a bit.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
The trouble ain't so much what folks know, but what they know that ain't so.
I have found that the art of writing is simply the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. Unless, of course, you're ordering a sarsaparilla.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a deeper understanding.
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters… unless the dog is a poodle. Then, all bets are off.
A woman's mind is not easily swayed by mere flattery, unless, of course, the flattery is exquisitely delivered.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
The secret to getting ahead is getting started. The secret to staying ahead? Convincing everyone you knew the ending all along.
One must cultivate a sense of humor, for life provides ample opportunities to test it.
It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
It's not about the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog…and a good protein shake.
Give a girl the right lipstick, and she can conquer the world.
A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
The best revenge is living a life so fabulous, it makes everyone question their choices.
I've learned that it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
Progress is not made by early risers. It is made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.
The world is a stage, and most of us are hopelessly miscast.
A bore is a person who deprives you of solitude without providing company.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
The pursuit of pleasure is a serious business, not to be undertaken lightly.
The trouble ain't that people are ignorant, but that they know so much that ain't so.